| Style: | Whatever he can think of |
| Button Style: | Tekken |
| Outfits: | In his 1P outfit, he is wearing a suit of combat armour, which
consists of polished white ceramic plates (quite similar to a
Stormtrooper's) over polished metal bands. His helmet is closely
contoured to his head, and has glowing red "eyes" and a fine grille
over his mouth. He has a leather belt and boots, the former of which
has a sleek laser pistol attached at his right hip. His 2P outfit is similar to the above, but the ceramic plates are black, and he is not wearing his helmet. When Start is pressed, he is dressed in slightly faded black jeans, a black t-shirt and an open, dark blue shirt with black crosshatch. He has black sneakers, and his laser pistol is in its usual place, though it is often concealed by the shirt. |
| 1st Round Opening: | -- Zandar is typing at one of the consoles, his helmet off. (Astute players will notice that he's actually playing Out of this World.) When he sees his opponent appear, he jumps up, sighs and (in 1P outfit) puts his helmet on. He then goes into his ready stance, which consists of staring warily at his opponent. |
| Openings: | [Note for Oniko: (*) indicates an intro written by someone
else.] -- a cloud of grey smoke and heat-shimmers grows, then fades, revealing Zandar. He nods to his opponent, then readies himself for the fight. (*)-- vs. Cosmos [on SS Italy]: As Zandar sits at his console, the P.A. (playing the stage's theme) suddenly cuts out and "Also Sprach Zarathustra" comes over the loudspeakers. The camera pans to Cosmos who's fiddling with a set of controls on the wall. She sheepishly smiles and says "Sorry, I couldn't resist." Zandar glares at her. The music continues for the rest of the fight. -- vs. Dragomorph: Dragomorph descends and starts her speech versus evil characters. Zandar waves his hands and says, "Wait, wait - I'm not immoral, I'm amoral." Dragomorph asks, "You're still evil, right?" Zandar replies, "Lawful neutral, actually, but I think I misunderstood a question." Dragomorph ponders, shrugs and says, "I guess I'll just knock you out and think of a more appropriate speech before you wake up." Zandar sweatdrops, and the fight starts. -- vs. Lainer: both start in their ready stances. Lainer suddenly straightens, and a conversation ensues. Lainer: Hey, wait. Where's my special intro? Zandar: I don't remember any special intro. Lainer: Oh, come on. This is me, and you're not the MMK...I think. [He rubs a sore spot on his arm] I hope... [He snaps out of it] So where's the damn intro? Zandar: Fine. You've got a special intro now. You can't say arguing for this long is normal. Lainer: I want a proper intro! Lights, explosions, sprinklers, people falling from the sky! Zandar: Look, you might have an unlimited budget, but some of us have wars to fight. Lainer: Yeah, like you're really going to contribute to that. Zandar: No need for personal remarks....and so on. This sort of thing continues until a player presses a button, at which point their character looks up at the clock (which started at the beginning of the conversation) and says, "Hey, look, there's a fight going on!" At which point, you guessed it, the fight starts. However, at a random point in the fight, fireworks suddenly explode in the background, setting the sprinklers off, and a body falls from the top of the screen, landing with a thud. This occurs regardless of the stage. If the argument continues until the clock runs out, a buzzer will sound. Both combatants will look up at the clock and say, "I won, right?" Then the Draw message appears, and Zandar and Lainer shake their heads in disgust and walk offscreen. (*)-- vs. Lainer [on SS Italy]: Lainer searches through his coat and pulls out a remote control. He then points it at the large screen in the background and flips through several random channels, including, but not limited to: Judge Judy, Japanese game shows featuring cows, Garfield, The Home Shopping Network's Magical Items Clearance Show, Sam & Max Freelance Police, German game shows featuring being naked, and Jesus and Pals. After changing the channel several times, he turns to Zandar, shrugs, and says, "57 channels and there's nothing on." Zandar blinks and says, "You don't like Sam & Max? Okay, now you must die." The fight begins. However, if the MMK is on either team, then the channel that Lainer stops on will be playing the opening of Gavok it Name Hello. From off screen, the MMK can be heard shouting, "Shinku SHINKU *SHINKU* HOWAAAAAADO-" Zandar briefly interrupts Knight to shout, "Hit the deck!" Zandar, Lainer, and all of the people in the background kiss the ground right as a gigantic fireball flies into the viewscreen, accompanied by, "PUNCHUUUUU!" They all get up, dust themselves off, and the fight begins as normal. (*)-- vs. Lainer [hold START]: Lainer walks onto the stage, and Zandar has yet to appear. He gets a wicked grin on his face (not a Kim Kaphwan grin mind you, Kimmy never grins evilly) and begins rummaging through his coat. After a second of searching, he pulls out a 2x4 and a hammer. Lainer then sets to nailing the bar into the screen (just be glad there's no fourth wall to fall on him in here) so that it sticks out at just about 6 feet above the ground. After he finishes he returns to his starting area. A second later Zandar walks on screen and, predictably, bonks his head aginst the 2x4. Lainer haw-haws and Zandar pulls down the board. Lainer starts with a slight boost to his special and Zandar starts with a little damage. -- vs. Lance: doubletakes, turns to the screen and mutters, "I hope he hasn't seen my movelist..." Then he ducks, because Lance has run up to him and attempted to knock his head off. Zandar says, "At least I didn't put the So Shoe Me in!" Then the fight starts, with the two combatants still at close range and Lance's super meter slightly increased. -- vs. Krinn: blinks and says, "How about I just forfeit now?" Krinn grows a large mouth in his chest. It grins nastily, revealing large, sharp teeth. Zandar sighs, and the fight starts. (*)-- vs. Oniko: Oniko walks on dressed in Zandar's 1P uniform. Zandar goes into his normal P1 vs. P2 intro, asking, "Hasn't the evil clone thing been done to death?" Oniko starts snickering, and Zandar blinks, leans forward to get a better look at his opponent, then groans and facepalms. Oniko runs offscreen, then comes back on in his normal outfit, still snickering. -- vs. Oniko [on SS Italy]: Oniko walks on, and notices that Zandar is engrossed in his gam- er, work. He looks around the room, and his gaze eventually falls on the giant monitor on the viewscreen. Smirking, he walks offscreen, then walks back on carrying a CD and a DDR dance pad. Oniko plugs the dance pad in, inserts the CD into a nearby console, and begins playing. This does not go unnoticed by the staff... or Zandar for that matter, as he storms up to him and asks, "What the heck are you DOING??" Oniko glances over at him, then turns back to the screen, "eep"s and nearly falls over as he botches a step. The words "FAILED" appear on screen, and Oniko shouts, "Nanda soreya?!" ("What was that?!") He kicks the console in frustration, and the image on the viewscreen suddenly dissolves into static, everyone starts shouting, and the stage starts shaking. Zandar facepalms, and says, "Let's just start the fight." (Note that the shaking will continue throughout the fight, and the stage change will occur at the end of this round, no matter what number it is.) -- vs. Zandar (1P vs 2P): The 1P version asks, "Hasn't the evil clone thing been done to death?" The 2P version shrugs, and responds, "I certainly thought so." The fight starts. -- vs. Zandar (Start): The Start version sweatdrops and says, "Uh...can I just go get changed?" The other Zandar has a 50% chance of doing each of the following - - Rolling his eyes and saying, "Just be quick, okay?" The Start version runs offscreen and comes back a few seconds later as 1P or 2P Zandar, whichever he's not fighting. The fight starts. - Glancing nervously at the screen, then leaning towards the Start version and whispering, "Don't worry, there's a bug in this version." The Start version punches himself in the arm, looks startled, then grins. The fight starts. |
| Taunt: | -- does the Storming Zandar...facing backwards. As you might
expect, this won't counter anything, but it's the only taunt that he
can cancel out of. -- spins his gun around on his finger, Revolver Ocelot style...until it flips out of his grasp, and he has to make a desperate grab for it. He succeeds, but there's a 5% chance that he accidentally performs a one-second Laser Cutter straight upwards. -- pauses at his terminal to continue his game for a little while. He starts at the arena, and has an 80% chance to reach the next save point each time this taunt is uninterrupted. If he actually completes the game, his super meter will immediately fill. |
| Victory Poses: | -- walks nervously up to his fallen opponent, pokes him with a foot, then looks towards the screen and says, "Huh." -- a cloud of grey smoke envelops Zandar, and he disappears along with it, but not before he says, "Hey, don't I get a victory p-" -- [if the Quimquaff Reflex Cannon has been used] runs a finger across his forehead, looks at it, then flicks it at the ground and says, "Oniko, you have my deepest apologies." -- [vs. Lainer] gives a Kaphwan-Style Grin ('ding!'), then walks offscreen. -- [vs. Cosmos, SS Italy]: Zandar walks over to the controls that Cosmos adjusted and fiddles with them some more. "Also Sprach Zarathustra" suddenly stops, and "The Blue Danube" replaces it until the stage change. Zandar facepalms and walks offscreen. -- [blowout] shakes his head in disbelief, then shrugs and walks offscreen. -- [close match] starts to spin his pistol, but stops and winces. "I'm going to have some bruises tomorrow..." -- [desperation] wanders offscreen, muttering, "I wonder if Improfanfic's updated..." -- [flash finisher] walks up to the skeleton and pokes it, whereupon it disintegrates in a shower of sparks and ashes. Zandar blows some imaginary smoke from his pistol's barrel, then holsters it and grins. |
| Draw: | -- Sighs and says, "All that for nothing?" |
| Loss to Time: | -- Turns to the screen and says with a frown, "You mean you didn't turn the Infinite Time option on?" |
| Sayings: | -- "Wow. You suck." -- "I guess I've improved recently." -- "I meant to do that." -- [vs. Lainer] "WHO'S BETTER THAN THE...uh, I mean I guess I've improved lately." -- [blowout] "Wow. You *really* suck." -- [close match] "I'm not sure this was worth it." -- [desperation] "Hey, cool! RECBT finished!" -- [flash finisher] "I knew that gun'd come in handy some day." |
| Example Combo: | df+1, 2, d+4, 2 |
| Notes: | -- In addition to his health and super bars, Zandar also has a red
charge bar, which is split into ten equal sections. Each section
represents an equivalent of one second of the Laser Cutter (see
below), and will be lit up when charged, dark when not. -- Speaking of bars, all attacks against him do only 75% of their usual damage, due to his armour. However, Zandar's health bar is only half as long as everyone else's, due to his general reluctance for combat. -- Bug: Zandar blocks with one forearm, which is fine if you're wearing armour, but tends to suck when you're just wearing a shirt. Despite this, Zandar can still block normally in his Start outfit, but a few frames of animation are added to his first block as he stares at his arm and blinks in surprise. |
| Down to Earth | 1+3 | A punch to the gut doubles the opponent over, then an axehandle
puts them to the floor. Simple, but effective. The escape for this throw is 1, or closest approximation to left punch given button system. |
| Spaceman | 2+4 | Zandar attaches a device to the opponent, who suddenly starts
rising into the air. Either they smack into the ceiling or fly off the
top of the screen; either way, they fall back down and take the same
total damage. The escape is 2, or yada yada right punch yada. Characters who can fly/levitate/propel themselves can also stop this throw by holding down on their joystick for the second it takes their character to remove the device. This only works before they reach the top of the screen, and may leave them open to attack for a little while. |
| Through and Threw | f+2~1 | In this command throw, Zandar leaps at his opponent and disappears.
He immediately reappears behind them, then turns around and executes a
pistol-whip to the back of the head. This throw is unescapable. When this move is performed against Lance, Lance gains half a bar of super meter. |
| Anticipation Counter: Storming Zandar | 2+3+4 | Performs Xiaoyu's 2+3+4 taunt. For the uninitiated, this consists
of leaning towards the opponent with left hand on hip and right hand
flapping vigorously in front of face. Due to the Power of the Wavy
Hand, any opponent performing a high normal while this move is in
effect will be stunned long enough for Zandar to start a combo on
them. Additionally, pressing db+1 just after the opponent is stunned will perform a Storming Flower. This move cannot be performed in any other situation. |
| Anticipation Counter: Timelapse | b+1+3 or b+2+4 | Stands with arms crossed and a grin on his face, which may or may not be visible. If an opponent makes any melee attack (not including supers and throws), Zandar disappears with no fanfare as the opponent's blow reaches him. As the opponent regains his balance, Zandar appears in the same pose, but...well...it's rather uncertain where he'll be. In most arenas, he'll appear where he was and automatically kick them to the ground. In stages that experience large accelerations, constant or erratic, Zandar could end up anywhere, or the move might not work at all (in which case, of course, he'll stand there smugly and get hit). Ironically, SS Italy is one of the stages where this move will simply not work. |
| Overhead: Pipe Down | d+2 | A lead pipe materialises in Zandar's right hand, and he swings it in a downwards arc. Slow, but decent damage. |
| Reload | db+1+2 | Zandar pops the clip from his laser pistol, then inserts another (which appears from thin air). This takes two seconds, and will totally replenish his charge bar. However, if this move is interrupted after the clip has been removed, the charge bar will be totally drained, regardless of its previous value. |
| Laser Cutter | qcf+2 | Zandar draws his pistol and shoots in one motion. This produces a pencil-thin beam of red light for as long as the 2 button is held, up to four seconds. It is eminently blockable, but cannot be blocked after it hits, and does about 2% damage per unblocked second. However, after ten seconds total of using the pistol over the round, its energy is depleted, and it can no longer be used for this move, the Flashback or the Fade to Black. |
| Flashback | qcb+2 | Hmm, haven't I seen that gun somewhere before? Zandar gives a
little reminder by drawing his pistol and pressing a button on the
side. A small ball of blue-white energy appears at the end of the
barrel with a humming noise, then spreads into a shimmering red
vertical line. All normal projectile and beam attacks, including Zandar's, cannot pass through this barrier, which slowly fades for three seconds before disappearing with a flash. Note that if the distance is carefully judged, Zandar can perform his Laser Cutter and have his pistol in front of the barrier while still gaining its protection. This can also apply to some of his opponent's special moves, of course. People, and thus melee attacks, can pass through just fine, but will not destroy the barrier by so doing. Supers will break through this field quickly, though it will take one hit from "flurry"-type supers before disappearing. Performing this move drains the equivalent of four seconds of charge from the pistol, and it cannot be performed when the pistol does not have this much charge left. |
| System Shock | f, f+1 | Zandar lunges forwards, left hand leading. If he connects and is not blocked, electricity sparks from the device suddenly in his hand to the opponent, who is thrown back to land half a screen away, twitching and smoking. Can be started a fair way away, has good priority and does 7% damage. |
| Parallax (aka: Lean) | u, u, then... | Zandar steps into the background, causing nearly all normal attacks to miss. Sweeps are one example of a move that will hit. He will step back automatically after one second, or... |
| ...Switchback (aka: Strafe) | d+1 (during Parallax), then... | Only possible during a Parallax, this causes a variable laser to appear in Zandar's left hand as he sweeps back out of the background, cutting through anything in his path that doesn't block. By its nature, this move is almost impossible to interrupt, but can be countered. Quite fast, and does 5% damage. The opponent will crumple to the ground if this connects, but... |
| ...Freespace (aka: Circle of Death) | d, d+1+2 (after Switchback) | If the Switchback hits or is blocked, Zandar can continue past the fighting plane and spin around to the opponent's back, where he will grasp his variable laser in both hands and stab. If the Switchback hit, this move will automatically hit as they are falling (heh) and do 7% damage. If the Switchback was blocked, the opponent can block as long as he turns around; otherwise he takes 10% damage. Whether Freespace is blocked or not, Zandar will be unable to block for a short time after the end of the move as the variable laser is reassimilated. |
| Produce Flamethrower | d+3+4, 2, 2, 2, ... | When d+3+4 is pressed, Zandar kneels, and a shoulder-mounted flamethrower materialises, ready to use. If 2 is now hammered, it will spout flame at short to medium range, then disappear after one and a half seconds. Each press of 2 will emit one gout of flame, doing 1% of damage, but the total damage will max out at 12%. Note that this total will rarely be achieved in practice, since if the opponent is hit, he will usually be knocked back out of range after about 8% of damage is taken. This move takes one or two seconds to start, and recovery is also pretty bad. |
| Animate Nightstand | b, f+1+2 | Zandar stretches his hands out, and a nightstand appears in them.
He releases it, and it scuttles slowly towards his opponent. Any
attack will destroy the nightstand if it hits, but if it reaches the
opponent (whether he is blocking or not), it will trap him in
its...uh...oaky grasp. Yeah. Anyway, this paralyses the opponent for
two seconds, while he struggles to break free. At the end of this
time, he will either break it to pieces or slip/ooze free of its hold.
Note that while Zandar is free to move and attack after he releases the nightstand, his attacks can also destroy it. Quote: If the nightstand gains its prey, Zandar will smile and say, "We have the technology." |
| Anomalous Materials | f, f+1+2 | Objects suddenly materialise in both of Zandar's hands, and he
throws them. As fast as he throws them, new ones appear in his hands.
This is a fairly standard super, and has 18 hits at 1% damage
each. The objects that appear will depend entirely on the stage in which he is fighting. On Kao's arcade stage, for example, Zandar will probably be throwing the weapons of fictional characters (however, the Masamune or Stormbringer will not do any more damage than a half-brick in a sock). |
| Deus Ex | 1+2+3+4 | Zandar turns towards the screen, places a hand on the side of his
neck and subvocalises. Immediately, a cloud of grey smoke builds and
fades, revealing a grey-robed figure hovering in front of Zandar. For
three seconds, all incoming attacks will be deflected by a metallic
shield appearing out of thin air, then melting into grey smoke. During
this time, more smoke will materialise all around the stage, moving
faster and faster. If the opponent can do more than 25% damage during
this time, the shield will shatter. The figure will be thrown into the
background, where it will lie - and this super will be unavailable -
for the rest of the round, and Zandar will take 10% damage from the
remainder of the attack. Otherwise, at the end of the time, the entire
stage is obscured by a chaotic mass of smoke. If the opponent is not
blocking at this point, he will take 25% damage from the buffeting
winds. When the smoke clears, both Zandar and his opponent are in
random positions and facing in random directions. While this move comes out more quickly than you might expect, it's not going to usefully counter anything but supers and slow specials. |
| Pillardance | f, f+3+4 | Zandar leaps towards his opponent a la System Shock, but disappears as he reaches them. He then reappears behind his opponent and swings a weapon that has suddenly appeared in his hands. Each time he is blocked, he will disappear and reappear either in front or behind his opponent randomly, attacking with a random weapon, for a total of ten hits at 2% damage each. It's possible, but pretty difficult, to block them all by reflex, or even to interrupt Zandar. If a block is missed, the next three hits will connect automatically. |
| I Am The Game | L1+L2+R1+R2+Select+Start | Zandar takes a small device from his armour/pocket and punches a
few buttons. If this move is not interrupted, the timer will change to
read 10 seconds, and everything on the stage except Zandar will slowly
start to pixellate. Also, Zandar's armour will immediately disappear
(except on the Start version), as will his damage resistance
(including the Start version). Zandar cannot attack during this time,
but the opponent's flash finisher and super moves are also disabled.
If the ten seconds pass without him being knocked out, the background
changes to a blank room with a sign reading "PORTAL GEAR QUASI - VR
MISSIONS" and Zandar is considered the victor. If he is knocked out,
the background immediately snaps back to its former sharpness. If this move seems overpowered, note that near the end of the de-res procedure, the blockiness will have increased to the point that it will be difficult for Zandar to even guess what move is being performed. Quote: "That's enough for now." |
| Fade to Black | qcb, hcf+2 | Zandar unholsters his gun and presses a different button on its
side. A loud hum begins, then a large ball of blue-white energy
gathers at the end of the barrel. Two seconds later, a blinding
foot-wide beam of blue-white energy shoots from the pistol. If the
opponent is in its path, he is instantly charred to an ashy skeleton.
Game Over. Of course, there's plenty of time to interrupt this move, and the beam can also be jumped, as it only lasts for half a second. This move can only be performed when Zandar's pistol is at full charge, and will completely drain it. |
| Team Assist | Thin Red Line | Zandar jumps out behind his teammate and performs a Flashback, which behaves exactly as usual. The forcefield will appear just in front of his comrade. |
| Team Super (in team edit) | Anomalous Materials | As per his super of the same name, but with someone else doing some other super in the background. I'm sure you know the drill. |
| Team Super (with Oniko) | 1.18 | Zandar tries a throw. If his opponent dodges, that's a meter of
super wasted. If it connects, Zandar punches the opponent in the gut
as if to start the Down to Earth, then pauses in thought. While his
opponent is recovering, he turns towards his team and yells, "Hey,
Oniko! I never did quite get how that Tengoku thing worked!" Oniko
immediately walks onscreen, rolling his eyes, and says, "Look, it's
quite simple. Just watch his health bar." As Zandar looks towards his
opponent's life gauge, Oniko performs a picture-perfect .59 on the
vict...er, opponent. As their opponent sinks to the ground, Oniko
turns to Zandar and says, "Now look at your gauge." Zandar nods and
looks to his own life bar as Oniko carves the three kanji into his
armour, then blinks in realisation and madly tries to rip his
breastplate off. He manages to throw it away just as Oniko snaps his
fingers, and a pillar of flame erupts from it just as it lands on
their opponent. Predictably, this causes more damage. However, if
Zandar is in his Start outfit, he can't get his shirt off in time, and
takes damage as per a full .59. As he collapses, he croaks, "...ah.
Got it." Despite its name, this move doesn't cause as much damage as two .59s, but it retains the weird damage property. |